We all have that moment where we realise we're dating the same character with a different name! The simple reason is that you’re often unconsciously drawn to what is familiar, even if it’s unhealthy. Your 'type' is often rooted in your Attachment Style—the blueprint for relationships you learned in childhood.

The good news? It's not fate; it's a pattern. We start by identifying that pattern, challenging the underlying belief (like, 'I must chase to feel loved'), and then teaching your nervous system what a secure, healthy connection actually feels like. Once your inner programming shifts, your dating radar points to fundamentally different, better people. It’s about being intentional with your choices, not just hopeful.

That feeling of being stuck in a loop is so frustrating! The issue is almost never the actual topic—whether it's dishes or money. It’s what that topic represents to each of you. Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship scientist, found that in healthy relationships, roughly 69% of conflict is perpetual, meaning it never goes away!

So, the goal isn't to stop fighting; the goal is to learn how to repair and communicate the underlying need without using destructive methods (like criticism or stonewalling). I teach couples how to move from blame to understanding the deeper, often unmet need (like the need for appreciation, respect, or security) behind the argument. It’s about building a solid 'repair kit' for when things go wrong.

Yes, it is absolutely worth it, but the way you're approaching it is probably what's causing the burnout. Creatives especially suffer because online dating often feels like a sterile performance or a job interview, which drains your energy.

The key to overcoming dating fatigue is shifting from a 'Quantity' mindset to a 'Quality' mindset. We stop swiping endlessly and start focusing on self-expansion. Studies suggest that couples who engage in novel and challenging joint activities experience higher levels of passion and closeness. We apply that idea to dating: focus your time on people and activities that make you feel alive, curious, and authentic before worrying about the outcome. When you feel less pressure and more engagement, the process stops feeling like a chore.

This is the challenge of all high-achieving couples, especially in the creative world where work often feels like a calling! Connection doesn't happen automatically; it has to be scheduled and prioritised.

The answer lies in mastering the 5:1 Ratio and Turning Towards your partner. The 5:1 Ratio suggests that for every negative interaction during conflict, happy couples have at least five positive interactions during their day. I help couples create daily rituals (small, non-negotiable moments of connection) that help you 'Turn Towards' each other's bids for attention, even if it's just for 60 seconds. This micro-dosing of connection acts like emotional glue, keeping the intimacy strong even when your schedules are hectic.

Jealousy is a completely normal human emotion—it doesn't mean you're 'failing' at ethical non-monogamy (ENM). In fact, most people who open up their relationship face it. The key difference is moving from seeing jealousy as a sign to stop, to seeing it as a sign to communicate and connect.

We work on two things: Internal Processing and Effective Communication. First, you practice radical self-inquiry (what need is this jealousy pointing to: fear of loss, feeling unseen, etc.?). Second, you learn how to use 'I statements' and scheduled 'Check-ins' (like relationship team meetings!) to give that insecurity a voice in a safe, productive way. This shifts the focus from the other person to strengthening the bond between you and your primary partner. We're aiming for Compersion—the joy you feel when your partner is happy with someone else—and that starts with feeling deeply secure yourself.

That 'roommate phase' is incredibly common, especially when work and passion projects drain your creative energy. The problem usually isn't a lack of attraction; it's a lack of intentionality and novelty in your relationship.

The biggest secret? Stop waiting for spontaneous desire to strike. We look to the work of people like Dr. Emily Nagoski, who explains the difference between Spontaneous Desire (instant lust) and Responsive Desire (desire that shows up after arousal has begun). I help couples create space for Responsive Desire by scheduling 'Erotic Check-ins' that don't always end in sex, but focus on playfulness, curiosity, and removing the things that act as your individual 'brakes' (like stress or resentment) while engaging your 'accelerators' (like novelty or physical touch). Sex begins long before you get to the bedroom.